Speis

The Guardian reported on the recently-published 100 minute Bible and invited readers to submit a 100-word edition of God's word. Here goes:

First there was God. He was great. Adam was less successful and with Eve caused some trouble. Their offspring flourished until God gave them a fatal watering and started again. Battles followed and things got a little hairy. Moses provided discipline until God sent his son down. An angel impregnated Mary and she gave birth in a surprisingly well-attended stable. Jesus roamed the provinces before recruiting his roadies, working some miracles in catering and hitting the big time. Jealousy led to his death, but Jesus made a comeback before heading for the big soundstage in the sky.

Amen.