Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Santa's days are numbered
I remember visiting Santa every Christmas when I was a kid. Stepping into his cave or cottage or workshop, waving at the elves, looking at the robotic snowmen. It was pretty magic for a 5-year old and it was always one of the highlights of December for me. Right up there with posting my present list up the chimney and leaving out carrots on Christmas Eve for the Rudoplh and the other reindeer.
Well now it seems that Switzerland are cracking down on their shopping centre Santa Claus. The union of Swiss Father Christmas impersonators has advised its members not to let kids sit on their laps. They’re doing this because they don’t want their members to be accused of child abuse. Parents are more protective of their kids these days.
But let's not stop there. Let's take this all the way. We should test all the Santas for sexual diseases. Make sure their woolen costumes are allergy-safe. And I wouldn’t trust those candy canes their elves are giving out. They could have razor blades in them. All that red could be upsetting for children, it might make them think of blood and death.
Just to be safe we’d better put Santa in a grey suit, then he can shake hands politely with the child’s parents before they hand over their Christmas list. Although if it’s in an envelope there’s the danger of anthrax and paper cuts. We’d better just scrap Santa altogether. For the children.
(The original story is on the Indo website here. You'll need a login.)
Well now it seems that Switzerland are cracking down on their shopping centre Santa Claus. The union of Swiss Father Christmas impersonators has advised its members not to let kids sit on their laps. They’re doing this because they don’t want their members to be accused of child abuse. Parents are more protective of their kids these days.
But let's not stop there. Let's take this all the way. We should test all the Santas for sexual diseases. Make sure their woolen costumes are allergy-safe. And I wouldn’t trust those candy canes their elves are giving out. They could have razor blades in them. All that red could be upsetting for children, it might make them think of blood and death.
Just to be safe we’d better put Santa in a grey suit, then he can shake hands politely with the child’s parents before they hand over their Christmas list. Although if it’s in an envelope there’s the danger of anthrax and paper cuts. We’d better just scrap Santa altogether. For the children.
(The original story is on the Indo website here. You'll need a login.)
# posted by Name @ 4:24 p.m. 
